Technology and Relationships: Friend or Foe?

Posted by on Nov 15, 2013 in Blog | 0 comments

Technology and Relationships: Friend or Foe?

Here are two seemingly unrelated questions: #1: “Why do spouses cheat?” #2: “How can technology affect a relationship?”  But a recent survey indicates that one may have a LOT to do with the other.  The survey was conducted by a dating site for married people who are looking to cheat (which shall remain nameless – no free advertising here!), and showed that nearly half (45%) of their 6,000 members surveyed said they cheated because their partner spent too much time online or on mobile devices.  In the other direction, it also indicated that 67% said the internet made their cheating possible.  Granted, the source isn’t exactly a reputable institution of scientific research, but even if their numbers are somewhat inflated, it certainly underscores the potentially negative influence of technology on relationships.  However, technology can also be used in a very powerful way to enhance the felt connection between partners, including your sexual intimacy.  We address this topic in our upcoming book on page 75:

“But just to be clear, we’re not advising that everyone abandon social media, texting and email.  We are suggesting that you be mindful of how you are utilizing your technological devices and social media so you can enjoy them in a way that does not detract from your relationship with each other.  So the technology itself isn’t bad.  It can absolutely be used for good and in moderation, and it truly does facilitate staying connected with family and friends.  In fact, it offers a whole new way to nurture your relationship and keep it fresh.”

 

So how do you use technology to fuel your romance?  For example, when is the last time you sent your partner a supportive text (or a suggestive one!)?  When is the last time you used Facebook to send your spouse a VERY private message? If it was within the last 24 hours, good for you, but if not, take 30 seconds right now to reach out — Digital Age style!
TECH DO’s                                        TECH DON’Ts
*Send your partner at least one tech-based, supportive communication per day for a week—see what a difference it makes!
*Send a racy text (or really impress with an Evite), inviting your partner to some Bedroom fun
*Don’t check your mobile device while talking in person
*Don’t keep your mobile device on the table while dining
*Don’t use tech to re-connect — with exes ! (Goes without saying, but happens a lot!) 
*Establish tech-free times (e.g. while taking a
walk)
*Check out apps designed to help couples stay connected like “Couple”
*Don’t bring tech devices into the Bedroom – keep it a tech-free zone
*Don’t waste time surfing online or gaming when your partner is available to connect
*Use videoconferencing to connect when apart
*Send your partner photos of the two of you enjoying yourselves (or photos of a place you’re looking forward to going to together)
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