Posts made in March, 2014

Conscious UnCoupling

Posted by on Mar 29, 2014 in Blog, Featured | 0 comments

Conscious UnCoupling

Conscious UnCoupling “The conscious uncoupling model is so incredibly sound in terms of the pro-relational attitudes and skills it teaches, but it’s like waiting until you have a mouthful of cavities to start brushing and flossing. Good as a rule at any time, but waaaay better on the early side of things.” – Drs. Bill and Ginger Bercaw Today the world woke up to some shocking news and a new entry into our cultural lexicon. No, it had nothing to do with Malaysian flight 370 or the conflict in Crimea or the tragic mudslide in Oso, Washington. No, this was bigger than all three combined. Gwyneth and Chris were through (as announced by Gwyneth’s every-woman website, Goop.com). Well, they didn’t quite put it in such clear terms, but instead introduced the term “conscious uncoupling” into everyone’s morning commute. Now lest you think this is a term bantered about in shrink-land, we can assure you that we had never heard of it, and a quick sampling of our colleagues told us we hadn’t been asleep at the wheel.  Some efficient research revealed that conscious uncoupling is the modern alternative to divorce. Well, you still split up, but on your way to ending your marriage, you learn how to have a great relationship with each other (more on this later). This is done with great intentionality, carefully choosing to avoid blame and resentment in order to keep negative energy at bay.  Rather than working against each other (or having each spouse’s lawyers work against each other) the emphasis is on working together. Hard to argue with that approach, especially when kids are in the mix. But some deeper digging exposed a philosophical underpinning of conscious uncoupling: Due to increasing life expectancies, humans cannot be expecting to stay married forever.  In other words, if you do stay married long enough, eventually the romance will run its course and each partner should be prepared to bow out gracefully. Conscious uncoupling provides the approach for a soft landing during this inevitable transition. So this got us thinking… intentionally caring for your relationship by: Giving it the time and attention it needs, Striving to own personal responsibility for relationship dissatisfaction, Proactively avoiding blame and resentment, Modeling healthy-relating for our children, Choosing to contribute positive relational energy, If couples took such conscious steps consistently during their marriage — not waiting until they have drifted so far off course — and with an eye toward continually increasing their bond, wouldn’t this decrease the need for the UN-coupling part? The conscious uncoupling model is so incredibly sound in terms of the pro-relational attitudes and skills it teaches, but it’s like waiting until you have a mouthful of cavities to start brushing and flossing. Good as a rule at any time, but waaaay better on the early side of things. So here’s to hoping these trendsetters find peace in their uncoupling transition, and that married couples everywhere go as far as they can to get the UN out of there....

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March 2014 – Our Second Book is Published!

Posted by on Mar 20, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

March 2014 – Our Second Book is Published!

Have you ever had something on your calendar, something you just could not wait for, that seemed so perpetually “so far away” that it felt like it would never come?  But then, when the date of your vacation or party or graduation or wedding (or new iPhone) finally arrived, it suddenly felt as if the calendar pages had been rapidly flipped forward, launching you into a state of surreal amazement that your elusive event was actually here. Today is that day for us. It started about five years ago with a vision born equally from our professional lives as couple’s therapists and our personal experience with the challenges of nurturing the connecting and passionate marriage we wanted for ourselves. These two perspectives spoke clearly to us that it has never been harder to be a couple than it is today. We were at a point in our careers and in our marriage where we knew some things – things that really moved the marital and sexual satisfaction needle, things that we wanted all couples to know. With that motivation, we set out to create a resource for couples who wanted what we wanted from marriage and for couples facing the same challenges we were facing.  It would offer couples everything we knew about exactly what it takes to pull a struggling marriage out of the gutter and to make a good marriage great.  And it wouldn’t merely talk about such things, but it would provide a clear plan of action, making it as easy as possible for readers to open the book and guide themselves through a powerful, proven, ready-to-use program (CoupleFlow™) that was as comprehensive as it was efficient. We wanted results for our readers – the same kind of results we were seeing in our clients’ marriages and in our own. We ended up writing the book we wish we could have read earlier in our marriage. It has been a labor of love in the name of love, the same love that all too easily gets obscured by the ever-increasing demands of modern life. We are so thankful to all of you who have been so supportive of our vision for this book, so encouraging of its merit and so patient with the time it has taken.  Our hope is that there is something in this book that supports your marriage, something that helps to reconnect you with the vision of the partnership you want and deserve, something that helps you step outside of the currents of your hyper-speed modern lifestyle in order to intentionally offer the best of yourself to the relationship that matters most to you.  So from us to you…  “From the Living Room to the...

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Access Hollywood: Re-energize The Sexual Connection With Your Man

Posted by on Mar 5, 2014 in Featured, Past Appearances | 0 comments

Access Hollywood: Re-energize The Sexual Connection With Your Man

March 5, 2014 02:53 PM EDT Statistics indicate 20 to 40 percent of men struggle with low sex drive. Doctors Bill and Ginger Bercaw, authors of “From the Living Room to the Bedroom,” join Billy Bush and Kit Hoover on Access Hollywood Live with signs and solutions to the problem. What can partners do to help? Their book, “From the Living Room to the Bedroom: the Modern Couple’s Guide to Sexual Abundance and Lasting Intimacy,”   Watch the video here:...

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